Hello lovely people of Blogsville
I hope the middle of the week has met you well, hail and hearty...
In this new era (Yes this blog is in a new era) I have decided to feature blog posts of friends who have inspired me.
The first of a few will be from my very own Tyger
People may not understand the relationship I have with her. She inspires me in so many ways, she's been more than a friend and has become a sister to me. I can speak to her about anything and she shares my views on most if not all things and is the most enterprising young lady I know. She is also my personal stylist and can be yours too. You can visit her style blog here and her everyday blog here
Now here's one of her recent posts that truly hit me and got me thinking on friendship. Enjoy!!!!
VirtuousKelly
xxx
A harsh truth I have been forced to learn in the short time I have been on this earth is that my friends are few... very few and it will do me good to remember.
A preacher once said at a program - go through life making as many friends as possible and as few enemies as possible.
Unfortunately I disagree with this preacher who is simply saying go through life as a people pleaser. To do this, you will pick every phone call, say yes to every favour, listen to every whine and rant, run yourself ragged to please people to make friends... you might have 1000 facebook friends, and 2000 twitter followers; but it doesn’t mean you have 3000 friends or even 1000 friends; your friends are few whether you know it or not.
If you think you have very few enemies, you are either far away from success or very deluded... infact you are merely deluded, because even if you are far away from success, you might not have a lot of enemies but your friends are still few... very few, simply because you are not successful. What do you have to offer in your lack of success? You are a potential burden, you are likely to ask for help... a lot.... and for these reasons, your friends will be few.
So you are someone who never says no to people, you are here to help! What are friends for? Yes, you will have a lot of "seeming" friends who in truth are using you, you have been marked as the “go-to” guy, the friend who will always say yes... no they are not your friends, they are your handlers and you are the mark; you will loan out or give away money, clothes, your car, your home, your CV, your time, any and everything...and they know this.
Perhaps you are someone who goes through life eyes wide open, who refuses to be used and is focused, with a plan and a destination, people will hate you for the simple fact that you are practical and true to who you are, for refusing to be used, for knowing what you want and remaining focused... refusing to be derailed. It means you will say no to those who want to come and live in your house for 6 months with their 3 children, you will say no to people who want to use your credit card for their business; it means you will say no to that huge loan that will obviously not be repaid... and for this you will be well disliked and your friends will be few.
If you are successful or on a clear path to success in some form or the other, your friends will be few and your enemies many; your so-called friends will quietly dislike you for trying to be successful or being successful. Don’t worry they will still be the first to click “like” on all your facebook pictures and to say “you look fantastic” on that picture where you have spinach between your teeth... but they will hate your guts and root for you to fall down on your face – in their heads they are saying “arrogant idiot! Is he (she) the only one? let him (her) even fall down on his (her) face, so he (she) can know what it feels like” – like you have never fallen down before... but they have forgotten... what is key now is that you are successful and or happy and that is not okay so your friends are few... very few.
This post of mine might sound brutal and cynical... even a little paranoid but in my opinion it is a truth I have been forced to learn and your nice comments and friendly follows don’t fool me.
You can choose to go through life pleasing the world, granting favours that will break your back, cost you your job or your home or your marriage or your peace of mind – it is your choice.
But keep in mind that it doesn’t matter how nice you are or how fantastic you are, your real friends will always be few and it will do you good to remember it.
If you don’t succeed - your friends will be few because you are not a success. If you do succeed - your friends will be few because you are so successful, either way - your friends will be few - even the great Julius Caesar had a Brutus close by.
Showing posts with label Friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friendship. Show all posts
Wednesday, 21 September 2011
Tuesday, 25 May 2010
Friendship!!!!
Apologies for being absent for a while.....
Academic work took the better part of my time....
However in that time, I thank God for using little happenings to intimate me on issues which occur in our everyday life and how that later on affects us. Today's topic will be centred on friendship.
Friendship is the cooperative and supportive relationship between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection, and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis....
(en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship)
I have had friends...trust me I'm a friend person...
However of late I have looked around and wondered whether the people I called friends are actually friends or just mere acquaintances. There is a huge difference. An acquaintance is someone you happen to know on a formal basis. The casual hello how are you person. Work colleagues, school colleagues and the likes.
However a friend is different. A friend is closer than an acquaintance. A friend is someone you can be real with and absolutely feel free with. I need you to take time and think about people in your life who you consider friends. Then create a mental sieve and separate who you can actually call a friend and who you would take as an acquaintance. Trust me if you have more than ten people on your friends list...you are one extremely lucky and good person. If you don't have up to ten friends under your friends list then don't worry it doesn't mean you are not a good person.
The essence of such a mental separation is to establish the people you can really hold on to in times when you need a helping hand or you want to let yourself go. However in order to have friends you have to be a friend. I have found that the book of proverbs gives a whole lot on the topic of friendship and these attributes will be discussed here. Remember Jesus Christ called the twelve His friends however one still betrayed Him. This did not mean that Jesus was not a friend it meant Judas was not a friend. We have been told in John 15 v 13 that greater love had no man than this that Christ laid down His life for His friends: now I know in this day and age it may be a bit extreme to lay your life down for someone else but can realistically can you think of someone or a category of people who you will be willing to lay down your life for: the first names that pop into your head are those you consider friends...
Being a friend is not easy. Like the parties to a male female relationship it is a full time job. You may laugh but it's true. Understanding is the first thing. Parties to a friendship have to understand each other. There is no basis to any friendship be it in the relationship aspect or not without the parties understanding each other...To me what's the point.
Communication: This is very essential. What people say to each other may easily be mis-interpreted.This is the main reason why relationships are broken because people fail to communicate effectively. A simply explanation solves a lot of issues. Proverbs 15 v 1: A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger. If something is said and needs further explanation the receiver friend ought not to jump into a conclusive notion that it should be interpreted in the wrong way. The giver friend should also try to give their friend the information in such a manner as not to impute ideas into the others head. And if there's strife...Please and Please let peace reign. Try not to cause anything that will bring more strife or throw more salt on the injury.
Patience/Perseverance: This is my ultimate motto for this year and beyond to be patient. I do not in anyway want to hurt anybody and hinder my blessing from coming down from heaven. So if a friend says something to me that hurts me I choose not to react immediately and try not to take it too close to heart. I activate my patience gear on and relax. Then later in a more cheerful mood and not governed by the emotions of what I felt when the word was spoken I gently tell my friend how I felt and why I didn't take what was said as appropriate. This has helped a lot as most times we react to quickly to what has been said and don't get a chance to think of what has been said. This is what causes the issues/brawl to go on for longer.
Also when you have friends you know their strengths and abilities. For me I have a friend who when she gives advice she doesn't know how to give it in a way whereby she is not harsh. I mean that's her nature and in as much as I want her to be more understanding in giving criticisms I leave her to do as she is because that's what makes her her and I love her as that. Just because I am not that way doesn't mean her way is not right. For example, I was going through a trying period a few weeks ago and all she could say was that she had noticed I had been moody and that I shouldn't be and that I should know that sometimes she too goes through things...blah blah blah...
When she finished...I wanted to speak because I felt this is someone who should understand me for me. I am not her and I believe she shouldn't judge me on the basis of how she handles things. However the Holy Spirit laid it on my heart not to speak. I didn't and I let it go. Sincerely I think she was expecting a reply from me but I never gave it. This is what came to my mind: She does not know what I am going through so I shouldn't judge her for that. And from there I moved on. You know your friends so try to handle and manage their idiosyncrasies. Remember being patient and silent does not make you weak, it shows how strong you are to handle a situation.
Forgive and let go: Please just forgive and let go and let peace reign. its had but remember that Proverbs 10 v 12 says Love covers all wrongs and if you have a friend you ought to love them. Please half of the times when we hold on go little squabbles we can be enjoying the finer things of life...So please Let go and if it hurts talk to your friend after exercising patience and if your friend is truly your friend they would understand and share your sentiments. If not please leave it to God to be the one to sort it out....
People always remember Proverbs 18 v 24: A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
Yes go to Him who knows all for everything and please be a friend....
Love you all and it sure feels good to be back
Yours Truly
Patience Virtue
Academic work took the better part of my time....
However in that time, I thank God for using little happenings to intimate me on issues which occur in our everyday life and how that later on affects us. Today's topic will be centred on friendship.
Friendship is the cooperative and supportive relationship between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection, and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis....
(en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship)
I have had friends...trust me I'm a friend person...
However of late I have looked around and wondered whether the people I called friends are actually friends or just mere acquaintances. There is a huge difference. An acquaintance is someone you happen to know on a formal basis. The casual hello how are you person. Work colleagues, school colleagues and the likes.
However a friend is different. A friend is closer than an acquaintance. A friend is someone you can be real with and absolutely feel free with. I need you to take time and think about people in your life who you consider friends. Then create a mental sieve and separate who you can actually call a friend and who you would take as an acquaintance. Trust me if you have more than ten people on your friends list...you are one extremely lucky and good person. If you don't have up to ten friends under your friends list then don't worry it doesn't mean you are not a good person.
The essence of such a mental separation is to establish the people you can really hold on to in times when you need a helping hand or you want to let yourself go. However in order to have friends you have to be a friend. I have found that the book of proverbs gives a whole lot on the topic of friendship and these attributes will be discussed here. Remember Jesus Christ called the twelve His friends however one still betrayed Him. This did not mean that Jesus was not a friend it meant Judas was not a friend. We have been told in John 15 v 13 that greater love had no man than this that Christ laid down His life for His friends: now I know in this day and age it may be a bit extreme to lay your life down for someone else but can realistically can you think of someone or a category of people who you will be willing to lay down your life for: the first names that pop into your head are those you consider friends...
Being a friend is not easy. Like the parties to a male female relationship it is a full time job. You may laugh but it's true. Understanding is the first thing. Parties to a friendship have to understand each other. There is no basis to any friendship be it in the relationship aspect or not without the parties understanding each other...To me what's the point.
Communication: This is very essential. What people say to each other may easily be mis-interpreted.This is the main reason why relationships are broken because people fail to communicate effectively. A simply explanation solves a lot of issues. Proverbs 15 v 1: A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger. If something is said and needs further explanation the receiver friend ought not to jump into a conclusive notion that it should be interpreted in the wrong way. The giver friend should also try to give their friend the information in such a manner as not to impute ideas into the others head. And if there's strife...Please and Please let peace reign. Try not to cause anything that will bring more strife or throw more salt on the injury.
Patience/Perseverance: This is my ultimate motto for this year and beyond to be patient. I do not in anyway want to hurt anybody and hinder my blessing from coming down from heaven. So if a friend says something to me that hurts me I choose not to react immediately and try not to take it too close to heart. I activate my patience gear on and relax. Then later in a more cheerful mood and not governed by the emotions of what I felt when the word was spoken I gently tell my friend how I felt and why I didn't take what was said as appropriate. This has helped a lot as most times we react to quickly to what has been said and don't get a chance to think of what has been said. This is what causes the issues/brawl to go on for longer.
Also when you have friends you know their strengths and abilities. For me I have a friend who when she gives advice she doesn't know how to give it in a way whereby she is not harsh. I mean that's her nature and in as much as I want her to be more understanding in giving criticisms I leave her to do as she is because that's what makes her her and I love her as that. Just because I am not that way doesn't mean her way is not right. For example, I was going through a trying period a few weeks ago and all she could say was that she had noticed I had been moody and that I shouldn't be and that I should know that sometimes she too goes through things...blah blah blah...
When she finished...I wanted to speak because I felt this is someone who should understand me for me. I am not her and I believe she shouldn't judge me on the basis of how she handles things. However the Holy Spirit laid it on my heart not to speak. I didn't and I let it go. Sincerely I think she was expecting a reply from me but I never gave it. This is what came to my mind: She does not know what I am going through so I shouldn't judge her for that. And from there I moved on. You know your friends so try to handle and manage their idiosyncrasies. Remember being patient and silent does not make you weak, it shows how strong you are to handle a situation.
Forgive and let go: Please just forgive and let go and let peace reign. its had but remember that Proverbs 10 v 12 says Love covers all wrongs and if you have a friend you ought to love them. Please half of the times when we hold on go little squabbles we can be enjoying the finer things of life...So please Let go and if it hurts talk to your friend after exercising patience and if your friend is truly your friend they would understand and share your sentiments. If not please leave it to God to be the one to sort it out....
People always remember Proverbs 18 v 24: A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
Yes go to Him who knows all for everything and please be a friend....
Love you all and it sure feels good to be back
Yours Truly
Patience Virtue
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)