Friendship!!!!

Apologies for being absent for a while.....

Academic work took the better part of my time....

However in that time, I thank God for using little happenings to intimate me on issues which occur in our everyday life and how that later on affects us. Today's topic will be centred on friendship.

Friendship is the cooperative and supportive relationship between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection, and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis....
(en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship)

I have had friends...trust me I'm a friend person...

However of late I have looked around and wondered whether the people I called friends are actually friends or just mere acquaintances. There is a huge difference. An acquaintance is someone you happen to know on a formal basis. The casual hello how are you person. Work colleagues, school colleagues and the likes.

However a friend is different. A friend is closer than an acquaintance. A friend is someone you can be real with and absolutely feel free with. I need you to take time and think about people in your life who you consider friends. Then create a mental sieve and separate who you can actually call a friend and who you would take as an acquaintance. Trust me if you have more than ten people on your friends list...you are one extremely lucky and good person. If you don't have up to ten friends under your friends list then don't worry it doesn't mean you are not a good person.

The essence of such a mental separation is to establish the people you can really hold on to in times when you need a helping hand or you want to let yourself go. However in order to have friends you have to be a friend. I have found that the book of proverbs gives a whole lot on the topic of friendship and these attributes will be discussed here. Remember Jesus Christ called the twelve His friends however one still betrayed Him. This did not mean that Jesus was not a friend it meant Judas was not a friend. We have been told in John 15 v 13 that greater love had no man than this that Christ laid down His life for His friends: now I know in this day and age it may be a bit extreme to lay your life down for someone else but can realistically can you think of someone or a category of people who you will be willing to lay down your life for: the first names that pop into your head are those you consider friends...

Being a friend is not easy. Like the parties to a male female relationship it is a full time job. You may laugh but it's true. Understanding is the first thing. Parties to a friendship have to understand each other. There is no basis to any friendship be it in the relationship aspect or not without the parties understanding each other...To me what's the point.

Communication: This is very essential. What people say to each other may easily be mis-interpreted.This is the main reason why relationships are broken because people fail to communicate effectively. A simply explanation solves a lot of issues. Proverbs 15 v 1: A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger. If something is said and needs further explanation the receiver friend ought not to jump into a conclusive notion that it should be interpreted in the wrong way. The giver friend should also try to give their friend the information in such a manner as not to impute ideas into the others head. And if there's strife...Please and Please let peace reign. Try not to cause anything that will bring more strife or throw more salt on the injury.

Patience/Perseverance: This is my ultimate motto for this year and beyond to be patient. I do not in anyway want to hurt anybody and hinder my blessing from coming down from heaven. So if a friend says something to me that hurts me I choose not to react immediately and try not to take it too close to heart. I activate my patience gear on and relax. Then later in a more cheerful mood and not governed by the emotions of what I felt when the word was spoken I gently tell my friend how I felt and why I didn't take what was said as appropriate. This has helped a lot as most times we react to quickly to what has been said and don't get a chance to think of what has been said. This is what causes the issues/brawl to go on for longer.

Also when you have friends you know their strengths and abilities. For me I have a friend who when she gives advice she doesn't know how to give it in a way whereby she is not harsh. I mean that's her nature and in as much as I want her to be more understanding in giving criticisms I leave her to do as she is because that's what makes her her and I love her as that. Just because I am not that way doesn't mean her way is not right. For example, I was going through a trying period a few weeks ago and all she could say was that she had noticed I had been moody and that I shouldn't be and that I should know that sometimes she too goes through things...blah blah blah...

When she finished...I wanted to speak because I felt this is someone who should understand me for me. I am not her and I believe she shouldn't judge me on the basis of how she handles things. However the Holy Spirit laid it on my heart not to speak. I didn't and I let it go. Sincerely I think she was expecting a reply from me but I never gave it. This is what came to my mind: She does not know what I am going through so I shouldn't judge her for that. And from there I moved on. You know your friends so try to handle and manage their idiosyncrasies. Remember being patient and silent does not make you weak, it shows how strong you are to handle a situation.

Forgive and let go: Please just forgive and let go and let peace reign. its had but remember that Proverbs 10 v 12 says Love covers all wrongs and if you have a friend you ought to love them. Please half of the times when we hold on go little squabbles we can be enjoying the finer things of life...So please Let go and if it hurts talk to your friend after exercising patience and if your friend is truly your friend they would understand and share your sentiments. If not please leave it to God to be the one to sort it out....

People always remember Proverbs 18 v 24: A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

Yes go to Him who knows all for everything and please be a friend....

Love you all and it sure feels good to be back

Yours Truly
Patience Virtue