Apologies for being absent for a while.....
Academic work took the better part of my time....
However in that time, I thank God for using little happenings to intimate me on issues which occur in our everyday life and how that later on affects us. Today's topic will be centred on friendship.
Friendship is the cooperative and supportive relationship between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection, and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis....
(en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship)
I have had friends...trust me I'm a friend person...
However of late I have looked around and wondered whether the people I called friends are actually friends or just mere acquaintances. There is a huge difference. An acquaintance is someone you happen to know on a formal basis. The casual hello how are you person. Work colleagues, school colleagues and the likes.
However a friend is different. A friend is closer than an acquaintance. A friend is someone you can be real with and absolutely feel free with. I need you to take time and think about people in your life who you consider friends. Then create a mental sieve and separate who you can actually call a friend and who you would take as an acquaintance. Trust me if you have more than ten people on your friends list...you are one extremely lucky and good person. If you don't have up to ten friends under your friends list then don't worry it doesn't mean you are not a good person.
The essence of such a mental separation is to establish the people you can really hold on to in times when you need a helping hand or you want to let yourself go. However in order to have friends you have to be a friend. I have found that the book of proverbs gives a whole lot on the topic of friendship and these attributes will be discussed here. Remember Jesus Christ called the twelve His friends however one still betrayed Him. This did not mean that Jesus was not a friend it meant Judas was not a friend. We have been told in John 15 v 13 that greater love had no man than this that Christ laid down His life for His friends: now I know in this day and age it may be a bit extreme to lay your life down for someone else but can realistically can you think of someone or a category of people who you will be willing to lay down your life for: the first names that pop into your head are those you consider friends...
Being a friend is not easy. Like the parties to a male female relationship it is a full time job. You may laugh but it's true. Understanding is the first thing. Parties to a friendship have to understand each other. There is no basis to any friendship be it in the relationship aspect or not without the parties understanding each other...To me what's the point.
Communication: This is very essential. What people say to each other may easily be mis-interpreted.This is the main reason why relationships are broken because people fail to communicate effectively. A simply explanation solves a lot of issues. Proverbs 15 v 1: A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger. If something is said and needs further explanation the receiver friend ought not to jump into a conclusive notion that it should be interpreted in the wrong way. The giver friend should also try to give their friend the information in such a manner as not to impute ideas into the others head. And if there's strife...Please and Please let peace reign. Try not to cause anything that will bring more strife or throw more salt on the injury.
Patience/Perseverance: This is my ultimate motto for this year and beyond to be patient. I do not in anyway want to hurt anybody and hinder my blessing from coming down from heaven. So if a friend says something to me that hurts me I choose not to react immediately and try not to take it too close to heart. I activate my patience gear on and relax. Then later in a more cheerful mood and not governed by the emotions of what I felt when the word was spoken I gently tell my friend how I felt and why I didn't take what was said as appropriate. This has helped a lot as most times we react to quickly to what has been said and don't get a chance to think of what has been said. This is what causes the issues/brawl to go on for longer.
Also when you have friends you know their strengths and abilities. For me I have a friend who when she gives advice she doesn't know how to give it in a way whereby she is not harsh. I mean that's her nature and in as much as I want her to be more understanding in giving criticisms I leave her to do as she is because that's what makes her her and I love her as that. Just because I am not that way doesn't mean her way is not right. For example, I was going through a trying period a few weeks ago and all she could say was that she had noticed I had been moody and that I shouldn't be and that I should know that sometimes she too goes through things...blah blah blah...
When she finished...I wanted to speak because I felt this is someone who should understand me for me. I am not her and I believe she shouldn't judge me on the basis of how she handles things. However the Holy Spirit laid it on my heart not to speak. I didn't and I let it go. Sincerely I think she was expecting a reply from me but I never gave it. This is what came to my mind: She does not know what I am going through so I shouldn't judge her for that. And from there I moved on. You know your friends so try to handle and manage their idiosyncrasies. Remember being patient and silent does not make you weak, it shows how strong you are to handle a situation.
Forgive and let go: Please just forgive and let go and let peace reign. its had but remember that Proverbs 10 v 12 says Love covers all wrongs and if you have a friend you ought to love them. Please half of the times when we hold on go little squabbles we can be enjoying the finer things of life...So please Let go and if it hurts talk to your friend after exercising patience and if your friend is truly your friend they would understand and share your sentiments. If not please leave it to God to be the one to sort it out....
People always remember Proverbs 18 v 24: A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
Yes go to Him who knows all for everything and please be a friend....
Love you all and it sure feels good to be back
Yours Truly
Patience Virtue
Tuesday, 25 May 2010
Thursday, 11 February 2010
REJOICE!!!!!
I can see the question that comes into mind (especially if you are going through a rough season in your life)is what is there to smile about? Theres a lot of suffering in the world: financially, politically, emotionally and physically ....So PLEASE WHAT IS THERE TO SMILE ABOUT?
1st Thessalonians 5 v 16: Be joyful always
Joyful: elated; full of high-spirited delight
(wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn)
1st Thessalonians 5 v 18: Give Thanks in ALL circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus
To Give Thanks: Showing appreciation and Gratitude
(en.wiktionary.org/wiki/thankful)
To some the meaning of these passages may not make any sense because we are hurting too much or too tired to see the sense in it. The world has made the word joy seem like a verb which only occurs when good things happen. When you buy a car, you have to be joyful. When you get married, its a joyous occassion and the endless list of moments when we ought to be joyful goes on. However what of those times when it seems 'inappropriate' to be joyful. For example, when you have been waiting for a promotion and suddenly it passes you by...Will you be grateful,thankful or Joyous? When the results you expected was not what you got and it seemed you were the only one out of your crew in that category...will you be grateful, thankful or joyous? When that breakthrough you have been praying for is about to go through and at its point of maturity it vanishes right before your very eyes...what do you do...?These are just some common areas which we experience in our daily lives.
I recently went through a set back and it hurt more than anything I have ever felt. I felt alone and this crippling fear of rejection and not being able to match up to standard engulfed me. It was not as if I hadn't prayed through it all or accorded myself any selfish praise but it just didn't work out for me. I felt crushed and I mean crushed. I didn't know what to do or how to feel. I began to cry. Not that crying helps but the pain was too much...I began to consider all the ridicule, the embarrasment....Lord why me I cried why me. I suddenly remembered a song I love...Donnie McClurkin's version of STAND...and I remembered what I was supposed to do...
You have to STAND up to that situation. No matter how traumatic it may be. After you have done all you can, all you can do is STAND... Why? Its not easy...you may be like me and cry, or get angry and look for someone to blame, or begin to harbour jealousy and spite...NO.... just STAND and watch the Lord see you through...Be sure in the Lord... All you need to do is endure that present season; God has a purpose; God has a plan...Do not give up through the storm or the rain. Do not bow to the situation, hold on and be strong; God will step in....Yes these are the words of the song but take a seat and meditate on it.
Is there a time the Lord has spoken and not kept to his word? God is not a man that He should lie neither is He the son of man that He should repent. I will rather rely and rest in the arms of my Lord than succumb more to the pressures of this world. If things have happened God must have allowed it...Why? Because He will neither leave me nor forsake me.The thoughts He has for me are of good and not of evil: Jeremiah 29:11 It is at this stage of STANDING that we should give thanks. The bible says in ALL things (yes I am saying all things) give thanks. It may be an inappropriate situation to give thanks in but yet still give thanks. Why? Because it could have been worse. For the person waiting for the promotion that passed by you, it could have been worse because you may not have had a job or worse still got fired....for the person with the resulyts which weren't expected, it could have been worse as you may have had to go through a resit or yet fail the entire course...for the person waiting for the breakthrough, it could have been worse if you were not even at the starting point and had nothing to aim for...
My analysis may seem far fetched or unrealistic, but as a christian, walking in the light and way of God and believing on His every word, I have decided that when set backs occur in my life I wil not be sober but give thanks to Him in advance for being gracious to me and allowing me not to have been in a worse position and thank Him in advance for that position I am aiming for.
It may be hard...but thats why we lean on Christ our solid rock. The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run in and are safe. Whatever God has said about me in His word will be established in my life. Greater is He who is in me than he that is in the world. This should be our daily prayers.
A set back is not the end of the world. It is only the beginning of the next chapter to our life stories on how we were able to achieve our destinies in christ. I will always bless the Lord at all times...Because when the Praises go up, the blessings come down... Remember He will never put more on you than you can bear.... So in the clear words of Apostle Paul's letter to the Phillipians, chapter 4 v 4 Rejoice in the Lord Always and again I say REJOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1st Thessalonians 5 v 16: Be joyful always
Joyful: elated; full of high-spirited delight
(wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn)
1st Thessalonians 5 v 18: Give Thanks in ALL circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus
To Give Thanks: Showing appreciation and Gratitude
(en.wiktionary.org/wiki/thankful)
To some the meaning of these passages may not make any sense because we are hurting too much or too tired to see the sense in it. The world has made the word joy seem like a verb which only occurs when good things happen. When you buy a car, you have to be joyful. When you get married, its a joyous occassion and the endless list of moments when we ought to be joyful goes on. However what of those times when it seems 'inappropriate' to be joyful. For example, when you have been waiting for a promotion and suddenly it passes you by...Will you be grateful,thankful or Joyous? When the results you expected was not what you got and it seemed you were the only one out of your crew in that category...will you be grateful, thankful or joyous? When that breakthrough you have been praying for is about to go through and at its point of maturity it vanishes right before your very eyes...what do you do...?These are just some common areas which we experience in our daily lives.
I recently went through a set back and it hurt more than anything I have ever felt. I felt alone and this crippling fear of rejection and not being able to match up to standard engulfed me. It was not as if I hadn't prayed through it all or accorded myself any selfish praise but it just didn't work out for me. I felt crushed and I mean crushed. I didn't know what to do or how to feel. I began to cry. Not that crying helps but the pain was too much...I began to consider all the ridicule, the embarrasment....Lord why me I cried why me. I suddenly remembered a song I love...Donnie McClurkin's version of STAND...and I remembered what I was supposed to do...
You have to STAND up to that situation. No matter how traumatic it may be. After you have done all you can, all you can do is STAND... Why? Its not easy...you may be like me and cry, or get angry and look for someone to blame, or begin to harbour jealousy and spite...NO.... just STAND and watch the Lord see you through...Be sure in the Lord... All you need to do is endure that present season; God has a purpose; God has a plan...Do not give up through the storm or the rain. Do not bow to the situation, hold on and be strong; God will step in....Yes these are the words of the song but take a seat and meditate on it.
Is there a time the Lord has spoken and not kept to his word? God is not a man that He should lie neither is He the son of man that He should repent. I will rather rely and rest in the arms of my Lord than succumb more to the pressures of this world. If things have happened God must have allowed it...Why? Because He will neither leave me nor forsake me.The thoughts He has for me are of good and not of evil: Jeremiah 29:11 It is at this stage of STANDING that we should give thanks. The bible says in ALL things (yes I am saying all things) give thanks. It may be an inappropriate situation to give thanks in but yet still give thanks. Why? Because it could have been worse. For the person waiting for the promotion that passed by you, it could have been worse because you may not have had a job or worse still got fired....for the person with the resulyts which weren't expected, it could have been worse as you may have had to go through a resit or yet fail the entire course...for the person waiting for the breakthrough, it could have been worse if you were not even at the starting point and had nothing to aim for...
My analysis may seem far fetched or unrealistic, but as a christian, walking in the light and way of God and believing on His every word, I have decided that when set backs occur in my life I wil not be sober but give thanks to Him in advance for being gracious to me and allowing me not to have been in a worse position and thank Him in advance for that position I am aiming for.
It may be hard...but thats why we lean on Christ our solid rock. The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run in and are safe. Whatever God has said about me in His word will be established in my life. Greater is He who is in me than he that is in the world. This should be our daily prayers.
A set back is not the end of the world. It is only the beginning of the next chapter to our life stories on how we were able to achieve our destinies in christ. I will always bless the Lord at all times...Because when the Praises go up, the blessings come down... Remember He will never put more on you than you can bear.... So in the clear words of Apostle Paul's letter to the Phillipians, chapter 4 v 4 Rejoice in the Lord Always and again I say REJOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, 1 February 2010
Sometimes...But...Always
Sometimes we get tired of Life and wonder what the true essence of it is...but
Always remember that you were created for a purpose...no one was brought here without a mission..strive to fulfill your mission
Sometimes we feel distressed and wonder why bad things happen to good people...sometimes it feels in the midst of a million people your all alone...but
Always remember you are never alone..Afterall If God be for you who can be against you...Being alone is a good thing sometimes...you get the time to reflect on issues that are bothering you and try to seek solutions to them
Sometimes it seems the closest persons to you hurt you most...when you need them they just seem no where to be found....but
Always remember that you have got family to back you up...there are friends that are always there through thick and thing...certain situations may show us who are friends really are.. friends who are always there are not classified as friends but family...
Sometimes it seems as if the target we set for ourselves are too high...we want this done by this, we want this thru by this...I want this to go this way....and when it seems we are drowning in our own high standards, we begin to loose hope...but
Always remember no standard is set too high...Do not compromise your position because you feel it is making you loose valuable time or connections...we are all created differently..some aim low while some are average...some, however, are destiny pushers and aim high they do not want to be associated with mediocrity...It all depends on your level of faith...God understands and knows when things will happen...Always remember...if Joseph had gone into the palace from the pit he was thrown into by his brothers, He would never have managed His position well..and who knows the story may have been different...
Sometimes it hurts to let go...you want to but it is hard..so many circumstances come in and just make it all the more worse...it may be a lost love, a sour relationship with a friend, a tragic experience that has left an imprint in your memory...but
Always remember that you get to live life only once...you can not get back any moment, second, minute, hour or day spent carrying all the burdens of life around...I know what you just thought...easier said than done right ?..true...its the person who wears the shoes who knows where it hurts the most...but the fact and truth stll remains...its easier to let go than to hold on too it..its less stressful and also less painful letting it go than keeping it in...
Sometimes its hard to love again...after a while you give up trying at all... and then you loose emotion, feeling and what not...you begin to shut down slowly like a computer system which is hanging...but
Always remember as hard as it may seem that the ultimate love comes from God...there is never a limit on love...you can never say you don't have enough love...there is always enough love to give...all you need to do is try and tap into you bank of love..no need for cheques, long lines and no fear of running into overdraft...theres no harm in trying again...it took the guy who made the light bulb so much failure to actually reach his success...And if the people/person you show love to abuse it...there's still more love to go round..remember..whatever you sow is what you reap...just make sure your steps are ordered before you love...and remember someone, somewhere out there is waiting to give you that love back in return...
(c) Kelechi Anyogu.
Always remember that you were created for a purpose...no one was brought here without a mission..strive to fulfill your mission
Sometimes we feel distressed and wonder why bad things happen to good people...sometimes it feels in the midst of a million people your all alone...but
Always remember you are never alone..Afterall If God be for you who can be against you...Being alone is a good thing sometimes...you get the time to reflect on issues that are bothering you and try to seek solutions to them
Sometimes it seems the closest persons to you hurt you most...when you need them they just seem no where to be found....but
Always remember that you have got family to back you up...there are friends that are always there through thick and thing...certain situations may show us who are friends really are.. friends who are always there are not classified as friends but family...
Sometimes it seems as if the target we set for ourselves are too high...we want this done by this, we want this thru by this...I want this to go this way....and when it seems we are drowning in our own high standards, we begin to loose hope...but
Always remember no standard is set too high...Do not compromise your position because you feel it is making you loose valuable time or connections...we are all created differently..some aim low while some are average...some, however, are destiny pushers and aim high they do not want to be associated with mediocrity...It all depends on your level of faith...God understands and knows when things will happen...Always remember...if Joseph had gone into the palace from the pit he was thrown into by his brothers, He would never have managed His position well..and who knows the story may have been different...
Sometimes it hurts to let go...you want to but it is hard..so many circumstances come in and just make it all the more worse...it may be a lost love, a sour relationship with a friend, a tragic experience that has left an imprint in your memory...but
Always remember that you get to live life only once...you can not get back any moment, second, minute, hour or day spent carrying all the burdens of life around...I know what you just thought...easier said than done right ?..true...its the person who wears the shoes who knows where it hurts the most...but the fact and truth stll remains...its easier to let go than to hold on too it..its less stressful and also less painful letting it go than keeping it in...
Sometimes its hard to love again...after a while you give up trying at all... and then you loose emotion, feeling and what not...you begin to shut down slowly like a computer system which is hanging...but
Always remember as hard as it may seem that the ultimate love comes from God...there is never a limit on love...you can never say you don't have enough love...there is always enough love to give...all you need to do is try and tap into you bank of love..no need for cheques, long lines and no fear of running into overdraft...theres no harm in trying again...it took the guy who made the light bulb so much failure to actually reach his success...And if the people/person you show love to abuse it...there's still more love to go round..remember..whatever you sow is what you reap...just make sure your steps are ordered before you love...and remember someone, somewhere out there is waiting to give you that love back in return...
(c) Kelechi Anyogu.
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